Friday, April 25, 2014

How big is your box?

I've created a box with my thoughts and words.
It's walls pull closer in response to my can’ts, don'ts, won'ts, shouldn'ts, and no's.

As the enclosure squeezed my essence tighter and tighter. I struggle just to breathe.

It's a comfortable place to be sometimes - tucked into a reality that is the status quo. Never allowing myself to dream beyond the scope of my confinement.

How did I get here?

Did I put myself here?

Did you put me here?

Are you the one pushing the walls in on me with your thoughts and preconceived notions of who I should be? How I should act? What picture the colors of my life should paint?

Maybe another, but not me. You have no power over me. I am too strong and confident to be dented by your ignorance.

Ahhhh, but I did this to myself. For I am my best friend, my own cheerleader, my number one fan.
But I also am my own worse critic, my saboteur, my enemy - my box creator.

With each decision I make, whether visible to the eye, the box expands or contracts and there are days when I don't even feel its scratchy texture rubbing my nakedness.

And then, there are days where it threatens to stop my heart with it deadly grip.

Why did I create it? To protect me from dreaming, from living as big as I possibly can?

For I am worthy of greatness, destined to be remembered, deemed to change the world with my gifts and talents - called out to lead people with a heart big enough to love them more than they could imagine possible.

Ah, but the box beckons me to return and think of myself, only me in the box. If I stay here I will continue to walk amongst the crowd of other slaves in society, most likely including you and everyone you know....

But if I choose to, I can break free and make a difference, a difference in my life and yours. I have the capacity to create a different reality than the dark confined prison that I currently know and I set my thoughts in determination and stand up - shattering the flimsy fiber of that which appeared impenetrable.

I can breathe
I can live 

I love wildly 
I can dream 
I can dance 
I can sing 
I can be who I was meant to be - unbound.

How big is your box and why are you still in it?

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

A Year of Biblical Womanhood

My sweet friend, Naomi from biblestudy suggested that I read a book by Rachel Held Evans called, "A Year of Biblical Womanhood," a book where Rachel takes on a new challenge each month for the scope of year to follow various principals that the Bible makes note of (or does it) when it comes to women.

Being a bit of a theologian myself, I scoffed at first at the idea of reading something that was softer in narrative and not very challenging to my own walk, or so I believed in my stuffy pharisaical manner. Much to my delight I couldn't have been more wrong.

The biggest challege I faced through plowing through the 318 pages over the last two days was to not make 100,000 notes in the margins and claim the book as my own.

Rachel touched on almost every question I have as a woman, a woman who's been called into ministry, and answered it with scripture and grace, bebunking the fears that men and women alike have pushed into the forefront of my walk thoughtout backing or true support and yet we digest words as if they are truth and fail to seek the truth of Bibical words.

Needless to say, I'm getting a copy of this myself so I can write all over it and use it in the future when I need to defend my calling, my faith and my place in leadership against those who seek through the scriptures to defend that which that desire to defend.

If you haven't read this book - you need to. It is a fantastical journey for the Christian, the Jew, the Atheist and everyone in between. She bring humor, truth and reality into a perfect package and I for one was incredibly blessed to have been nudged to devour, I mean read it. :)

Good stuff.

Monday, April 21, 2014

To Write or Not?

It's been a long year away from writing simply for the purpose of telling a story and yet I miss it more than words can express. I have a few Bible Study ideas that I want to jump on, but a religious fiction just keeps nipping at the recess of my mind.

I love to write fantasy and fiction, to dive deep into a world that shouldn't exists and yet because God created in the image of his creative nature, I yearn to draw up something new and exciting.

A few Bible Study ideas keep moving around in my mind, but why is the action of writing so much more difficult than it used to be?

Why do I tarry instead of picking up my proverbial pen and jotting down just the first few words to chapter one?

Because I feel a bit stiffled. I have too many ideas and yet which do I focus on first? If I focus on any of them at all, am I taking time from other things that are more important?

What about my music? I cannot fathom that God would give me songs to write and yet not expect me to do something with them and yet there they sit...

To write or not is the question and when that one is answered... the next is write - on - what?